I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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