Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize