Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
