R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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