I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
how does that bad decision feel?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize