I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
