Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
