Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i think i have herpe
just one?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
