ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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