Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
