worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
