Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
