Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
