My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
