Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
