Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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