u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
