Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
