What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
