Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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