I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
