I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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