What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
