Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I faked an abortion last night.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
