these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize