is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
