the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
