I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
