shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
