East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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