I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
