I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
