Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
