Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
