OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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