I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I am naked and annoyed.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
