elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
