She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
