i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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