Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
