I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How drunk are you?
Completed.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
