4 words: hood of his car
I've blown a few things in my day
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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