I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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