So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The struggles of a small town man whore
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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