the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
