i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
