you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize