You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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