i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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