btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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