Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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