What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
