I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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