well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
