I hate your face
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize