This is not my ceiling
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize