he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
