More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
