But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
